"we should invent a plunger for the brain to be specifically used for getting terrible songs unstuck in the head"-brandon

"I've got so much beef in me, i can't do anything'- brandon

dinner at the cochrans

you: ill beat you with a bread stick

and so you did.

you: i want next years father's day to be exactly like this one

me: pizza and the office in bed?

you: and the children can go in the back yard to sleep outside during the day.

me: what?

your ahead

me: "my brain just cant be in more than one place"
you: "i know, that's why it's in your head"

they told you to come here to listen, i came here to live.

dear milk companies, i would like to buy my milk and not have it expire in like four days. i know you pump hormones like crazy into my cows and i don't like it but PUT OUT will you? also, i dont want to ONLY eat cereal in order to use my milk before it expires. give a girl a break. or a bowl of cheerios. LOVE, jacqueline.

the surest way to unlearn something properly is to try to teach it.


if you aren't confident in your subject
you probably shouldn't teach it.

which is why i think teachers are ever increasingly dependent on books instead of their own minds.