"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake...
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life...
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

19 weeks until i die from child labor.

I CANT WAIT.

also, dash just hurt himself running to be with me.
also, i just sneezed
and i think its going to snow...

so i better go check on the chickens.

hope they arent frozen.

FISH

if you have a reference that you don't want people to contact but it's your only job related- specific reference, like oh say- for nannying, do you give it or do you just say you have nannying experience but would prefer other references?

isnt that fishy>?

pEANUT QUIT KICKING MY INSIDES!

things ive had enough of

1. fat free milk : what? why?
2. spanish cable shows.
3. gas.

who is george? and why do we swear BY him?

by george?

so, im learning to do the whole mother transition thing. it's really hard. i feel like brandon has no interest in me or anything i care about anymore. its hard to make our relationship interesting and fun, or even routine. we have no designated time for ourselves, and he devotes all of his attentions to his job and school and the marines. we only have conversation about his life, and when i try to talk about how i feel about mine- i feel tuned out and totally depreciated. it's never as important as sleep or school or his relaxing time or working out. the only time i feel like he is showing me any attention is when i cook him something or do something nice for him. i hate feeling this way. it is shattering to my self esteem. i have no confidence, no job, no friends, and no family pretty much. all i have is dash, some chickens and a big empty house. and brandon doesnt even want to hear about those things. i wish i knew how to communicate so that he would listen to me. not just about the house, our dog, our finances, our bills, and his schooling. listen to ME. about me. have interest in me. without yelling and crying. i am tired of waking up in the middle of the night and watching him, wondering if he ever even thinks of me, when i feel like all i do is think of him and what i can possibly do to make him love me again.
he says he does
but
his attitude doesn't.

"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” -- Woody Allen

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." --W.H. Auden

“I fell in love with her courage, her sincerity, and her flaming self respect. And it's these things I'd believe in, even if the whole world indulged in wild suspicions that she wasn't all she should be. I love her and it is the beginning of everything.” -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it." -- John Steinbeck

why do they even make any other flavor of jolly ranchers besides watermelon and cherry? what's the point?!@