the best part about brandon (besides everything even the crappy i want to hate you parts) is that he randomly giggles all the time to himself. like, full on, giggles. and he has the best thoughts.

maybe he should write this blog.
j

PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID I COULD EAT THEM!

like, as dumb as a box of macaroni and cheese
and imagine what the nutritional value is

.

negative five billions.

zofran ftw!

going to the ball tonight! ahhhhhh.

not a fan of no fans.

another thing that absoultely frightens me with rage

well, not rage just kidding but seriously
something that bothers me
is

when you go to stay with someone and you forget your pillow, so instead of your comfy pillow you have to sleep on one of their reject pokey dead duck pillows.

and you always sleep with a fan because anyone who sleeps in silence is retarded or at least mentally challenged? just kidding but i dont know how you people do it. deep sleepers. skeepers. pshwahhhh. so when you go away you need some sort of noise and your in laws live in sundance where there is absolute silence except for some freakish animal sounds that occur at random and are usually mating sounds. scary.

they sound like girls screaming.

sceeveyyy! also i cant get anyone to do my hair for the ball.
guh.

i wish kirst was still here in utah so she could help me be beautiful.

im cold.
im tired
im wet
and i have no noise or a comfy pillow


travel fail.
im buying a fan tomorrow.

not a fan of no fans.

jesus wants me for a sunbeam

i just need to vent a little about the poeple upstairs. the minute i put dash outside for the first time all day her stupid fat children start banging on the windows and doors and stomping around because suddenly they want to go outside now that dash is out but they dont want him anywhere nearby. HELLO. they can play anywhere they want in anybody's backyard if they wanted to and dash never gets to go outside, in fact, he crys all day to be let out and once i do i get some stupid dumpy kid knocking on my door to inform me that your dog is outside wihtout a chain oh REALLY? are YOU outside without a chain? yeah shutup. and then they are like oops i opened the gate and your dog ran away.
UGHHHH
just leave us alone! and YEAH my dog craps in the backyard and i dont watch him every freaking second to wait for him to poo and then pick it up. GUHRLKHJASDO;IJ.
and if you're worried about your kids eating poo or stepping in it, here's a life lesson that will take you far- TEACH THEM TO WATCH WHERE THEY ARE PLODDING. yes, PLODDING but in your case, flopping or trodging, or stomping is usually a better term. TEACH THEM THAT YOU DONT WANT DOG SHIT ON YOUR CARPET.


these kids just cant suck it up and get over their fear of dash, he's not gonna eat you or kill you. i cant even walk by their front door by myself without one of them opening the door and looking around scared and being like WHERES DASH?! uh not here. he might jump on you but if you can sit around on your fat asses and watch scary movies all day then im sure you can handle not being comepletely traumatized by a dog that is like a year old and likes to jump.

i freaking want to cut you all.

if my kids are overweight and obnoxious im going to feed them to satan.